In a startling turn of events late on Friday, Adam Schiff has announced the publication of a new whistleblower book he has authored. It came moments after the US Senate voted 51-49 against bringing forward additional witnesses at the Senate impeachment trial of President Donald Trump.
In a statement released to the media by Adam Schiff about his latest work of fiction he said:
” This is a piece of work very dear to my heart. I decided to write it as a fictional account as I find that speaking in non-fictional language is very challenging for me in recent years “
Schiff further elaborated that the book will be distributed by the Jeff Bezos run Amazon. Bezos has instructed journalists at the Washington Post to pen 1,200 supportive articles of the manuscript in the coming days. In a separate memo Bezos detailed that he still expects to find the usual output of objective, non-biased anti-Trump hate speech in the Post.
Several journalists asked Adam Schiff when he would be available to sign copies of his new novel for them. He smiled and replied
” I can’t guarantee I will be available to sign each and every copy for the press. But rest assured if I cannot sign a copy my special assistant Eric Ciarmarella will forge my signature. Gosh I don’t think this book would’ve been possible with out him “
When questioned about the timing of the book’s release. Schiff responded
” It’s purely co-incidental that the Senate impeachment trial of President Trump is occurring at the same time. Unfortunately I have been so busy making up stuff at the impeachment trial, that poor Eric has been left on his own, working night and day making up stuff for the novel. Fortunately the way we make up stuff is very complementary “
Asked if Mr Ciarmarella will receive any writing credits. Schiff smiled
” Oh no Mr Ciarmarella prefers to remain anonymous ”
‘The Whistleblower Who Blew Me ‘ will be available from Amazon on April 1st.
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